For many construction workers and street vendors on the country’s forgotten motorways, it’s a living nightmare. Picture this: being stuck in the middle of a field with no other place to relieve yourself, only the ominous blue monument of a portable toilet.

Plenty of people would rather take their chances out in nature than enter these mobile death chambers, with their ghastly smell veiled with cheap air freshener and their lack of any clean toilet paper. Alas, at many music festivals like Glastonbury, they are unavoidable.

Yet they are filled with an insurmountable fear, with an abject terror over unhygienic conditions so great that the very thought of squatting inside one of these portable toilets makes them shudder.

This fear is known simply as… portaphobia.

A condition which affects millions, it is the silent fear, the one nobody talks about because it’s sort of embarrassing to admit you’re scared of stepping inside a big blue box to have a wee. It’s a truly crippling condition which causes many to cross their legs as they desperately try to enjoy their favourite Florence & the Machine gig and not have to think about waterfalls.

And what is being done to treat it? Absolutely nothing. Doctors nationwide don’t even mention this debilitating condition as it’s not ‘serious’ enough and they keep telling people to grow up and go behind a bush or something.

It’s a disgrace! People up and down the country have swollen bladders because they cannot hold their breath long enough as they sit in any given portable toilet.

Okay, slight exaggeration. Maybe people aren’t that scared to use portable toilets. No, their fear is using a portable toilet that hasn’t been cleaned which, understandably, is rather horrendous to contemplate.

Regardless, portaphobia is real and the best way to tackle such a fiendish infirmity is to have cleaner portable toilets. Either that or just suck it up and bring your own tissues.

Need a portable toilet for your event? Take a look at what we have to offer on our page.